Anyone remember that (awesome) song "Closing Time" from the 90s by Semisonic? It was one of my favorite songs in my early youth and now I pretend to find it cheesy and ridiculous but secretly love it. I heard it again this morning and one line stuck out. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." I started to think about it and I have to say - I think they might be on to something. Philosophers of humanity you are, Semisonic. Suffice it to say I feel that I am at a transitional period in my life - something of a new beginning for sure. But it makes me wonder - where does the previous chapter of my life end? And, where did that chapter begin? It would be accurate to say that the last few years were not easy. They were full of painful truths faced, difficult lessons learnt and intense moments of self-discovery. I wonder how important my past is going to be in determining my future. I certainly hope my early past is not as influential in the upcoming years as it has been in the recent ones. While I do believe it is important to face your demons, acknowledge your hurts and the grievances done to you and how they have turned you into the person you are, it is also important to leave them where they belong and let yourself be free of them. This has been my biggest problem. I need to recognize the control I have over my own life, my own future and my own choices and let the past lie. This is the perfect time to do it. I am well on my way to finishing the application process for law school (Fall 2011!), I am slowly changing the bad habits that are a direct result of the feelings brought on by my reactions to past events that have hindered my progress in life (chronic disordered eating, lack of organization, etc), and I am in my first serious romantic relationship. These are all incredibly big steps that cannot be successful without a break from the past and an acceptance of myself as a strong, valuable woman who is in control of her own life.
I am a strong, valuable woman. I am in control of my life. I can handle the obstacles that come and will treat myself with the same dignity and respect that I give everyone else I love. This is gonna be awesome.
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